We have just finished the longest Holiday season of the year. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Day all smished together. Some calendars even highlight the dates in red. These days are significant. And they can be especially impactful on people who have suffered a Loss.
Often people are at their lowest point after a loss during these times, as well as anniversaries like Birthdays, Wedding Days and even dates of death. Do I know for a fact that most people react like this at special times? No, I don’t. The only metric is friends and acquaintances all of whom seem to ask: “Are you doing alright?”.
I must admit that I am not affected by malaise at these times. Rather, as I wrote in one of my first Blogs, I turn the sadness on its head and think of the happy times that I mourn. And in fact they will always have been in the Past.
But there is also the empty feeling that these happy times will never be shared again with that person. All I can do is rejoice in the memory of what we enjoyed. Death is the bringer of paradoxes. So I will share a poem about that:
PARADOX
The House is empty
The House is full.
A paradox?
No
DEATH
You are gone
Except for a tiny plastic bag
Of ashes
Placed in a pot
Crafted for the dead
Four thousand years ago
But your fingerprints are
EVERYWHERE
Though a palimpsest
Which must be rubbed by memory
To be seen
WHERE are you?
I sit in the dark
In the wee hours
Waiting
Silence, silence,silence
Sadness is a bellows
That presses on my chest
Blowing tears that wash my eyes
But the sadness fills me with
JOY
A remembrance
No longer can my hands
Rub your long, slender arms
Like canes of bamboo
Blown by your breath to hug me
No longer can my lips
Press against yours
To show my LOVE
Sadness over brilliant times
Brilliant adventures
Washes over me but like warm water
I smile
How else can I show you I love you
